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monty. they/them. looking for fun and feeling groovy

you are the guy
you are capable of being the guy
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i am at a party & i am so charming & just the right amount of weird & i will not drink too much

lysphage:

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My bad. I was looking for a stupid job that didn’t mean anything where I didn’t have to do stuff. Sorry, I guess.

charlottan:

girl is your penis big and with wheels because i think i just saw someone drive it out of the parkinglot

manthropology:

foreskinnty:

umarell:

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imagine trying to shame someone for saying hi then posting it online like its a gotcha. Hope that 41 year old king found better hole that appreciates his young mind

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vangaux:

im reading dracula right now and there are total plotholes in this book like they never mention when he founds monster high nor do they ever mention draculaura i just think bram stoker didnt follow the source material very well he could have done a better job

radetzkymarch:

manywinged:

manywinged:

being a scavenger animal must be so fucking great. imagine if every time someone died a new restaurant opened up downtown.

A significantly decomposed and skeletonized whalefall with a Waffle House sign edited to appear is if it's sticking up out of its tail. Crabs and deep sea fish are gathered to feast on the remains.ALT
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koloocheh:

forget about touching grass, i need to touch THE SEA I NEED TO GO INTO THE WATER I NEED TO DIVE INTO THE SEA!!!!!!!!!!!!

derinthescarletpescatarian:

derinthescarletpescatarian:

Thinking about those egg tubes

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For those confused in the notes, these are mostly sold to restaurants. Egg salad and egg garnish in retaurant food needs to look attractive; ever notice how if you get a salad in a lot of these places, the pieces are always perfect slices with white on the outside and yolk in the middle? Most of a sliced egg doesn’t look like that because of the shape that the egg and yolk is, so if they were just boiling and slicing eggs, they’d have to throw out more than half the egg if they wanted their slices to look nice.

These tubes are just made of normal eggs but boiled together in along tube shape. This way the whole thing looks pretty except the ends. That’s more egg per egg! They also store and transport easier than separate eggs, and because they’re sold precooked they save a lot of boiling and egg peeling time in the kitchen and result in a far more consistent product, cooked to perfection. Slicing up a big egg tube is much faster and produces better results than the kitchen staff having to boil and peel eggs themselves each time.

the-eldritch-it-gay:

the-eldritch-it-gay:

not people tagging “catholic” on my poem art explicitly about islam that has literal Quran verses in each drawing

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Do Not Fucking Do This!!!!

killyfromblame:

killyfromblame:

Currently, I sleep with a 15 lb blanket. It no longer feels particularly heavy. If I continue to pile more weighted blankets on top of it, I can get strong as fuck in my sleep. Eventually I’ll look like Goku just from sleeping

This is my autism workout plan

glenthemes